Insults are supposed to get under your skin and make you miserable. You have thick skin so as not to let bullies (or, less importantly, comedians) live rent-free in your head. It is to prevent you from living a miserable life, where every comment directed against you is internalized and you are in a perpetual state of being offended. The purpose of having thick skin is not to give a pass to people who mock or belittle you (or, less importantly, comedians). It’s understandable what Gay is saying, but she is misguided.
Gay writes that calling for people to have thick skin when it comes to jokes benefits “those who want to behave with impunity.” “If we all had the thickest of skins, no one would have to take responsibility for cruelties, big or small,” she writes, with “cruelties” apparently standing in for “jokes” in the context of the incident at the Oscars.
